Research shows that arguing about money is by far the top predictor
of divorce. “It’s not children, sex, in-laws, or anything else. It’s
money, for both men and women,” says an assistant professor at Kansas
State University, Sonya Britt, who conducted a study of 4,500 couples
about the interplay between financial arguments and relationship
satisfaction.
We all have deeply ingrained beliefs about how money should be spent,
when it’s appropriate to splurge, and how much we should have stowed
away in savings. And it can be difficult to the point of deal-breaking
to try and mesh our own attitudes about money with another person’s
financial beliefs, which very well may differ drastically from our own.
Businessinsider.com urges couples to read on for roundup of the top reasons why it pays to keep money matters separate in your relationship.
You’ll avoid a power imbalance
Merging finances means there’s no more ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ in the
money department. The divisions blur and it all goes into the same piggy
bank.
But what if your partner earns much more than you, and now you’re
suddenly living a lifestyle you can afford only with your partner’s
assistance? What if the opposite is true, and you’re subsidising your
partner’s income with your own earnings? When your relationship is
healthy and sparkling, you might not be bothered by either of these
scenarios. But what about in the wake of a blowout fight?
Or let’s say you’re the breadwinner in the relationship and you
subsidise a good chunk of your partner’s lifestyle because he or she
isn’t earning enough to keep up. Then, suddenly, you lose your job and
your partner’s income isn’t enough to pick up the slack.
Would you feel resentful? How would you cope with that? This is the
kind of financial imbalance that has a tendency to instigate the fights
that ultimately tear couples apart. Luckily, you can avoid them by
keeping your financials separate from your sweetie’s.
We’re more accustomed to financial independence than ever
Young adults are delaying marriage longer than ever before. Many
people rack up six or more years of complete financial independence
before saying their vows.
The money habits we develop during our years as single adults become
so deeply ingrained in us that it’s difficult to shift them in an
attempt to mesh with the financial habits of our partner.
And, unfortunately, finding common ground on financial matters is not necessarily something that gets better with practice.
It promotes healthy spending habits
Financially independent couples tend to practice better discipline
when it comes to paying off their own debts. And that makes for a
healthy relationship.
When one partner starts to feel like their partner’s pockets are deep
enough to offset the burden of their own financial risks, they
sometimes become irresponsible in their spending and saving habits. And
that can create the kind of friction that could start a fiery argument
later on down the road.
It balances the burden of money stress
When one partner becomes the sole organiser of a couple’s fiscal
matters, he or she runs the risk of becoming overwhelmed by the
responsibility and that can throw an entire relationship off balance.
But when both partners take charge of their separate finances and
contribute to mutual expenses fairly, any money stress that arises is
shared, making it much more manageable to find relief as a team.
A breakup won’t mean financial chaos
When you maintain financial independence, you avoid the risk of your
personal financial situation falling apart just because your
relationship did. Paying your fair share in a relationship also makes
for a cleaner emotional break if you one day decide to split.
When one partner consistently treats the other to dinners and
vacations, or pays the majority of the bills, resentment is bound to
brew during a breakup. The partner who paid more might even feel
entitled to reimbursement.
Gotten from The Leadership newspaper
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